Finding Hope

Parenting Challenging Children


About Reactive Attachment DisorderHelping Hands

Trauma incurred in a child’s life, especially before the age of three can cause issues with trust and the ability to form meaningful relationships. Any significant disruption to bonding which occurs in utero or during childhood can easily include multiple caregivers, abuse, neglect, death, drugs or divorce and can cause disorders in attachment.

A few behaviors associated with Reactive Attachment Disorder include being superficially charming, crazy lying, relentlessly pushing for control, destructive, raging, blaming, playing the victim and disassociating from their feelings. While all the behaviors can’t be listed here, they are typically done with no conscience or cause and effect thinking. The aggression is not always obvious and can be very subtle and passive. Children with compromised attachments often exhibit behaviors associated with and suffer from PTSD, Bi Polar, ADD and ODD.

Treatment focuses on building trust, accountability, empathy and developing a conscience. Normal parenting techniques nor traditional talk therapy will help heal these children. It is important to find a therapist that understands trauma and attachment. I believe the single most important factor for children to heal: are parents. It does require parents that are fully committed and educate themselves on Reactive Attachment Disorder, so they can know what is best for their child. This journey often forces deep introspection for the parents, typically the mother, to repair any unresolved conflict in their own lives before substantial healing can occur for the child. These hurt children can and do heal. There is hope. May you find some here.