It’s been six months since I’ve blogged last. There are so many reasons why I have procrastinated but I’m letting all those excuses go now. V has been home almost a year. We have transitioned her back into “real” life very slowly. She was home-schooled this past year, attends church youth activities, went to Girls camp for five days with the church, walks the dog, rides her bike around the neighborhood, spent a week at her Grandparent’s house. Those are just a few of the things that I can think of that she has never done. There is more trust although there is still a lot of work ahead. She is very regulated. No more rages or out of control behavior. If anything, she has gone the opposite direction and holds it all in. However, even in those cases, she is more willing to talk through her feelings.
She is more cooperative and willing. And yet, feeling connected in the relationship still struggles. I think we are both to blame for that. I’ve spent much of the past few months beating myself up about my resistance and then I realized, if I am willing to patient with her progress, I need to be patient with mine. There were many years of destructive behaviors on both sides of the relationship…it will take time to heal.
She will begin public school in fall in a self contained special ed classroom that works to slowly transition the kids into regular ed classrooms. She will be in 7th grade. I don’t know why this time around I am getting so much support from every school administrator I have spoken with. They have been so willing to understand me and set V up for success. I don’t know if seeing she has done 2 years in residential treatment suddenly gives me credibility…if so, it was a high price to pay.
I look forward to what the future brings, in whatever form it looks like. I just continue to pray for guidance, seek for strength, accept support and am constantly letting go and trying to be patient with the process.